tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88622697329668066672024-03-14T05:02:28.932-07:00BLOG OF LEIGH MCINNIS GAETJENS / McInnis Lee Gaetjensblog of my adventures travels after hurricane katrina from new orleans to houston to san francisico bay area adventures in life truck driving, cab driving, and messenger work as well as grocery and retail work i live onward in my adventures of finding my trueself and progressing to enlightment from recovery 12-steping AA,DA,OA,SLAA and DRA i find enlightment also from Latter Day Saints and personal growthAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.comBlogger99125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-59799828349494519102012-11-28T15:15:00.001-08:002012-11-28T15:15:53.812-08:00Depression<p>Ongoing more details to follow....</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-48330386441913140352012-11-08T11:52:00.001-08:002012-11-08T11:52:01.985-08:00<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Growth as an
individual, but at a price.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I feel sometimes others
stigmatize me, or ridicule me. I suppose that’s what makes me an
insecure individual. I have a plan with my living situation, and what
I’m going to do about it to go forward not in reverse.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Regardless I'm doing
swell today, and moving forward. Started a new volunteer gig a few
weeks ago to further boot my resume~</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I had my priority’s
wrong in my 20s, and drifted away, while I believe in a higher power,
god, or whatever you want to call it. I don’t know if my view in
conventional, I believe in the conventional god or the biblical
since, but don’t consider myself a bible thump-er.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have some issues to
iron out, but ponder the meaning of what life has to offer, someone
who lost faith long ago.</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
Just my thoughts for
today, I feel stigmatized<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-48947736559688820222012-10-10T11:56:00.001-07:002012-10-10T11:56:49.789-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<sdfield sdnum="1033;1033;MM/DD/YY" sdval="41192.4662398148" type="DATETIME">10/10/12</sdfield></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Talked to a good friend today, went to
Marin Alano Club today, made progress in my goals and ambitions. Have
an urgent appointment later today, that could have drastic changes
for better or worse, time to make choices again, as I have my
freedoms and civil liberty back.</div>
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<br />
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-71943808407044249732012-10-03T15:17:00.001-07:002012-10-03T15:17:02.405-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Back hurts somewhat, and a blister on
my heel of my foot hurts as well. Making progress in goals and
actually getting a few things done for a change, had some issues with
YV but going to keep in contact with her maybe a little less per say.
Might see AF on Friday or might not, I need some alone time to figure
things out somewhat.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
I have a plan and some potential good
news, a door opened for me, but not sure if I’m going to take it, I
also have many good things going on.<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-7613260958506924012012-09-29T11:43:00.001-07:002012-09-29T11:43:12.680-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Made progress in some goals with my
living arrangements today, continuing to plan ahead for the future,
visited a friend yesterday, have business to attend to, made some
choices regarding areas of life recently.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
Meeting financial goals and making
progress towards my own apartment, no more share rentals for me!<br />
<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-47888317248712323292012-09-20T09:13:00.001-07:002012-09-20T09:13:36.100-07:00life post-probation in the bay area<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Made peace with some of my things, but
still insecure, some self confidence is dropping, I feel lost and
stressed out a little but I will manage, even Paranoid feelings are
setting in, told a few folks about it, it has been on going for about
7 or 8 months. I hurt sometimes for my past transgressions and shy,
sad, insecure feelings tend to set in.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am making progress in my goals, on
speaking terms with bless again somewhat. I also text-ed a few folks
about my insecurity to reach out for help.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Anyway class today, and other things to
do to plan for my future, and goals. My back pain is getting better
after changing Marvin's tire 3 weeks ago on Sunday. I'm likely to sit
things out as yadira suggested for the greater good of my living
situation even though some of my “friends” don't think its such a
good idea. Other of my friends agree with me that sticking things out
a while for the greater good, and no more roomates for this
individual in the near future. Living alone rocks but for the present
moment I must put up with other individuals bullshit.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I made some personal growth in my
health and fitness goals as well. Lately im a bit slightly resentful
due to TSA & PG not having my letters on time, but patience is
required for these professional letters and for my expungement
letters now that my probation is over and I have regained my civil
libertys and rights I signed away for 2 and half years plus my 12
month jail sentence.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
I also am eagerly awaiting a letter as
well, for a finance matter and a few other things, we will see what
the road ahead lies and where life will take me in Marin or someplace
else<br />
<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-12571632760486084742012-09-12T16:06:00.002-07:002012-09-12T16:06:53.747-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Went to the doctor today, I am sick
with a mild sinus cold / cough. Attempting to get better soon, saw BK
today and we talked on the bus. Met with YV and ate a healthy lunch
going for a walk soon, than class.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com061-99 King St, Larkspur, CA 94939, USA37.9340915 -122.535253937.909044 -122.57473590000001 37.959139 -122.4957719tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-55918484319102797742012-09-11T15:24:00.001-07:002012-09-11T15:24:19.883-07:00Working on my expungement letters from
community members, and other civic leaders. Sticking things out a
while per YV and having faith that my dreams will come true. Class
tonight, more details to follow.<br />
<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-91591765376945342902012-09-10T16:03:00.001-07:002012-09-10T16:03:11.004-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
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</div>
Have class today, very busy, had a busy
day. Have a plan for my life, and sticking to it. Going to hit an AA
meeting(s) this week and step up my program. Discussed my insecurity
with my sponsor. Pondering life and the meaning of who I am as an
individual, still soul searching....but sober.<br />
<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-75337006787977319732012-09-08T18:50:00.002-07:002012-09-08T18:50:37.226-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am likely in December moving to
someplace in the bay area (away from Marin county), I will not
disclose. I have much shame and guilt for my inaction, actions and
prior transgressions. My abuse and hazing after Katrina the infamous
storm that hit my hometown of Harvey,LA (a New Orleans Suburb) in
Jefferson Parish. The hazing occurred in Houston, Texas and I was too
young and insecure in myself and resorted to drinking, I thought I
had the answers but years of temptations of sin, and personal
physical abuse, and sexual abuse from racist coworkers and a hostile
work area was a downpour.</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I see my part in it and my lining,
manipulating, stealing, and using others to get what I want and need,
as well as taking advantage of people, places and things.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
People sometimes make me insecure, some
folks I have gotten word gossip behind my back. But I made pace with
some things. I brought shame to myself in Alcoholics Anonymous, but
find peace in Narcotics Anonymous as well as the occasional Debtors
anonymous, over eaters anonymous, sex & love addicts anonymous.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I for 5 years sober have made an utter
ass out of myself, and pay the price for it. I learned my lessons on
probation for 2 and half years as well as 13 months in the Marin
county jail. Never again I say, I know now and have become a better
individual.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Truth be told, I’m not running away,
I’m keeping the same sponsor, despite my commute and schooling in
Marin County, Ill be around, Ill just be living someplace else. Some
folks read my open blog entry with amusement I suppose, some may back
stab me, some persecute me for past transgressions, or my addictions
or other problems.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Hell people are nice to me its just in
my head, I know I’m more assertive as a result of my hazing, and
wont go through that again, but I hurt a bleed in the soul, I must
find A Outlet to make peace with my demons. I choose to live, over
jails, institutions and death from addiction.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Who gives a fuck what others think?
Maybe I care too much maybe I need to grow up, I know where I’m
going and how I’m going to get there.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
Thats my story and im sticking too it.<br />
<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0Novato, CA, USA38.1074198 -122.569703238.0074668 -122.7276317 38.2073728 -122.41177470000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-78577720984150365452012-09-08T14:04:00.000-07:002012-09-08T14:04:37.150-07:00life, rights, and romance<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The question remains where I find
peace, in Christianity, or my higher power, or the god as I
understand him/her/it. I was hurt long ago, and lost faith fell
adrift, but I don’t dwell on the past but my hazing in my mid 20s
was in-partial to blame, of my falling away from faith.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don't have all the answers currently,
but I seek something better, a better life. A fresh start on the road
ahead. Alas I see the light at the end of the tunnel again.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don't have all the answers currently,
but sometimes I seek them. I used to be religious but I'm not sure
where I “fit in” I search for god, I feel him in my life, but do
I believe in god?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
School is going well in class
Monday-Thursday and doing volunteer work at the San Rafael Salvation
Army. On step 9 with my AA sponsor,
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Made peace with some demons, and ended
my probation on Friday. Feels great, I paid my debits to society and
learned my lessons of not taking as good care of myself emotionally
and spiritually and learned the consequences of not dealing with
health concerns.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don’t know what the road ahead
lies, I may go see a friend from San Rafael who moved to be closer to
her kids in Texas near Houston perhaps, and visit my uncle In New
Orleans. I have amends to make in both places, and some my sponsor
suggested I don't make as it will cause more harm than good as
transgressions In my addiction. Which I used to obsess over some
individuals, yet I scared them, I also have an issue to try and iron
out with some Law Enforcement my sponsor wants me to focus on local
amends in California first. And I have other personal issues to iron
out first before I take this trip.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
My life is in someways better in other
areas the same, and in some areas worse, I’m at a crossroads
somewhat. And regained my freedoms, and civil liberty and got all my
rights back.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Lately ive been listening on podcast to
Alex Jones & Coast to Coast AM Again. Brings back old memory
working graveyards, or parking on my nights off from work soul
searching, pondering looking at the city at night. Or in the
countryside off road sitting on the tailgate or lining in the bed.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The question remains where do I go from
here? I’m still trying to figure that out, but lucky a loose plan
is forming for my short term and long term goals.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Gossip could be better or worse, but I
don’t let anyone person, or place or group of individuals keep or
porpoise my spirituality or sobriety. I have done some dumb things,
but I learned from my experiences, and have grown up in the past 2-3
years.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Furthermore, I have my 5
diversification letters from individuals, non profits, employers,
community leaders granting my engagement paperwork and am in the
process of turning that in to the Marin County Superior court, I
luckily manged to get my charges reduced from a felony to a
misdemeanor and have high hopes from the courts to get an expunge or
dismissal.</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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My higher power is in my life stronger
than 5 years ago, and in someways I more of a welcome and affirming
individual in other ways im the same or worse, I admit I’m
depressed at times, but I cope better.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
I admit im not a saint, but who is? I
have a romantic interest that also feels the same way about me, but
distance hampers things plus she is on probation out of state, I have
known this person for 3 years almost, but am not sure about a long
distance thing. She is not a 12-steeper nor needs to be in my
opinion, but my sponsor says not to rush things. I might go visit
her, she has family in the bay area and might get permission to leave
her home state and visit California and I also may travel to see her.<br />
<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com01314 4th St, San Rafael, CA 94901, USA37.9735346 -122.531087437.9234666 -122.6100514 38.023602600000004 -122.4521234tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-83786929802481612522012-09-07T15:07:00.001-07:002012-09-07T15:07:53.064-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Off probation today, taking life one
day at a time. Not drinking, just for today.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
Have other things to workout, pondering
my future and making big choices in the next few months, plus the
holiday season approaches...ill be OK<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-92105820368976485502012-09-05T09:38:00.001-07:002012-09-05T09:38:36.470-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I hurt sometimes, I made peace with
some of my demons. But spiritually at times I am lost, right now I
have taken on perhaps too much on the plate, but so much of my future
is at stake.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
There is a few individuals I cant stand
I want to get away from, but than again he has his own issues and
doesn’t have solid AA/NA recovery. Hes like a plague and bad karma.
But why let one or two maybe three at most let me run away from my
problems as I have so done in the past.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
I don’t have all the answers
currently, but I search for them.<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-38840560841487294662012-08-30T10:17:00.001-07:002012-08-30T10:17:31.734-07:00progress and enlightment<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I made peace with some things, worried
about family back in Louisiana with the hurricane. Off probation in 9
days, turning in my expungement paperwork in 11 days, went the the
Marin alano club this morning for coffee. Might make a meeting over
there around noon or so.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Talked to my AA Sponsor about a
possible relationship with someone I have known for about 2 years, he
doesn’t think its a good idea. I’m not so sure either, but
pondering things somewhat.</div>
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<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I may be moving on from Marin after I
get a few affairs in order, but im likely to remain here for a while
and focus on educational opportunity, and employment opportunity.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-8806825696904777562012-08-29T10:49:00.001-07:002012-08-29T10:49:52.929-07:00progress.....<br />
<br />
Made peace with 99% of my inner demons. Going to TSA today in Marin, going to pickup documents from DLG and inquire at citibank and wells fargo bank about some things. Had a pretty good employment lead or I hope so to follow up on. Going to a meeting at Marin Alano Club today, as well as working on my personal letter to the court for my expungement, I also have 3 professional letters as well for my expugement, off probation soon too.<br />
<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-10006949552970219432012-08-13T12:42:00.001-07:002012-08-13T12:42:53.662-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I continue to grow up, and mature in
rather unique ways, some of my fears from my past....are well just my
past.....I had some fears crop up recently perhaps...I ponder what
road to take on the road ahead.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
Working step 9 (still) with my AA
sponsor.<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-3241872815709982822012-08-09T21:20:00.001-07:002012-08-09T21:20:22.634-07:00Made some personal growth recently on
step 9 WITH my aa sponsor, making progress in other areas of my life.
More details to follow<br />
<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-39898511943816836852012-07-30T10:55:00.001-07:002012-07-30T10:55:27.565-07:00Have some steps to work on step 8,
going to do a 9<sup>th</sup> step this week, thats on my agenda this
week that I already discussed with my AA sponsor.have some
commitments to do<br />
<br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-20812170053629912022012-07-22T14:09:00.001-07:002012-07-22T14:09:54.248-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<span style="background-color: white;">Went to church this morning, vised R
today, updated some information, have business to do on Monday. Have
my 1</span><sup style="background-color: white;">st</sup><span style="background-color: white;"> appointment with my therapist on Tuesday before
work.</span><br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-91448936205730011812012-07-21T16:08:00.001-07:002012-07-21T16:08:38.739-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<span style="background-color: white;">Visited R today, went to an AA meeting
@ Marin Alano club. I made peace with some acquaintances today as
well. Doing a meeting tomorrow</span><br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-61075447463092416222012-07-19T20:08:00.001-07:002012-07-19T20:08:32.154-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<span style="background-color: white;">Worked a bit today, talked to YV, put
in a lot of hours at TSA, met with AA sponsor today</span><br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-57703469987248814862012-07-18T12:55:00.001-07:002012-07-18T12:55:47.729-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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</div>
<span style="background-color: white;">Made progress with my steps, and home
work for my sponsor, picked up a 5 year sobriety chip last night.
Made progress in some of my admissions</span><br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-6619961281776664902012-07-17T10:56:00.000-07:002012-07-17T10:56:03.614-07:00<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Finally finished writing things down
for my sponsor, so I guess its on to step 8 I go onward in AA, I
still am growing up as an individual, I feel sometimes I wasted part
of my sobriety away, rather than focusing more in depth on
educational, employment, and other goals. But I thought I was doing
the proper thing at the time for myself.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have something good happening soon,
my own apartment no sober roommates, no roommates no in the program
just me, myself & I. And not much else, finally ill do something
about my gas guzzling 4x4 truck and likely will still ride mass
transit as it is pretty darn good in northern California.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I backed up some files recently to my
server, I also start school Aug. 20<sup>th</sup> 2012, so life is
good. It could be better, but some of us in recovery prosper and grow
at different paces.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I continue to prosper as an individual
in many ways, I am making huge progress in DA,SLAA, OA as well as my
original program AA, perhaps I am addicted to 12-step programs.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
But progress and getting here didn't
come at a price, I hurt some and embarrassed others and brought shame
to my self. But I don't dwell on the past or past transgressions.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I made peace with my inner demons, and
learned the hard way to “let go”. My selfishness has not been
without consequence, I lost a few acquaintances, friendships and
family members. I learned to put these relations in gods hands. And
hope time of rehabilitation of my life, will heal old wounds, if they
ever get healed.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I missed KM & KM today the plans
feel into the gutter, I feel hurt and stood up somewhat, but than
again BGK used to say I did that all the time, and yes he was
correct, I need to become less selfish and more dependable as an
individual, at times I become lazy and unsettled.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
My plans to take a trip and move out of
Marin are on hold after discussing things with a close friend, I'm
going to hang around while for the better until I have my affairs in
order. But after I get settled in my new place, I'm planing to
focusing on my 2003 ford ranger FX4 and than after its registered,
insured, and smogged, and inspected I still plan a trip to Los Angles
to see a old friend from LAMBDA center in Houston Texas that had 3
months when I walked through the doors again. And this guy stayed
sober all these years, and we linked back up via the INTERNET.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Furthermore, I plan to visit my uncle
in New Orleans via Amtrak and help him do a few things and visit and
look up a old friend or two I haven't seen since I moved to
California who I think is in the New Orleans metro area again from
northern Louisiana where he lived post Katrina.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
My 5 years of sobriety has had dark
spots, and mental blackouts and just dumb idiotic choices, and bad
karma, sometimes I'm not sure how to face old friends and foes in San
Francisco and people I rubbed the wrong way. I suppose thats why step
8 & step 9 are separate steps. Step 8 you discuss them with your
AA sponsor, and step 9 you actually go and do the ones you mutually
feel are right.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'm not sure how to make amends to MLS
OR MCG or others CW & LR would be bad, and PF would be bad too. I
dont think its a good idea to drag other people into my step work,
perhaps buying coffee or putting a extra dollar in the basket would
be the right thing to do, we discussed this at a STAG meeting I have
started attending, I picked the topic.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
<span style="background-color: white;">Soon to be off probation, September
7</span><sup style="background-color: white;">th</sup><span style="background-color: white;">, 2012, life looks good.</span><br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0Unknown location.37.9735346 -122.531087437.9234666 -122.6100514 38.023602600000004 -122.4521234tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-47649754708779912262012-07-16T11:19:00.001-07:002012-07-16T11:19:52.639-07:00<span style="background-color: white;">The reality of life I made progress in
my imperfections and defects of personality. I have grown a lot, had
better news today....I continue to grow as an Individual somewhat and
prosper, I made peace with some of my past. But I struggle to find
myself through individuality and choose the path I want out of
life.............perhaps time will change for the better.</span><br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8862269732966806667.post-52955058243659113602012-07-14T10:55:00.001-07:002012-07-14T10:55:35.714-07:00<span style="background-color: white;">Ive grown a bit over the years,
peculiarity the last few years, but in faith and spirit I'm not
always so sure the proper path to life, big choices that could have
drastic effects over the next few years of my life are shortly
ahead..........time to make big choices........more details to
follow.....</span><br />
<br />
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 150063
San Rafael, CA 94915-0063
(415) 572-4169
lmgaetjens@gmail.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358889692574448365noreply@blogger.com0